Let’s jump right into it! Unless you’re the type of person that enjoys a long, slow, languid build-up… We can tell so much about a person based on their birth chart, but did you know that some of your deepest desires and favorite sexual approaches can be found in there, too? Yes, the birth chart is a powerful tool for you to understand every aspect of yourself in a deeper, more connected way, including how you like to express yourself sexually! Let’s take a look at the correlation between the stars and the bedroom… or wherever it is you like to get down!
Let’s Talk About Sex
We first have to note how much society, media, and politics impact human sexuality - all of these systems can be seen in Astrology, including the recent societal shift of Pluto shifting into Aquarius on January 20, 2024 & staying with us until 2043, pushing for liberation and breaking ties with oppression. So sex is not simply the act, it is a much more than just penetration, or fellatio, or dry humping. We can see this through Cuban diarist Anaïs Nin who wrote explicitly and powerfully to her novelist lover, Henry Miller (who wrote the once U.S.-banned, and sex-forward, Tropic of Cancer in 1934) and shared word on what sex truly is in the following letter:
“Sex loses all its power and magic when it becomes explicit, mechanical, overdone, when it becomes a mechanistic obsession. It becomes a bore. You have taught us more than anyone I know how wrong it is not to mix it with emotion, hunger, desire, lust, whims, caprices, personal ties, deeper relationships that change its color, flavor, rhythms, intensities.
You do not know what you are missing by your microscopic examination of sexual activity to the exclusion of aspects which are the fuel that ignites it. Intellectual, imaginative, romantic, emotional. This is what gives sex its surprising textures, its subtle transformations, its aphrodisiac elements. You are shrinking your world of sensations. You are withering it, starving it, draining its blood.”
(You can watch actress & activist, Gillian Anderson, read this letter in its entirety here)
In essence: sex becomes nothing when you try to strip it from its magic. It’s sensorial nature. It’s light. So as we read on about where you can find sex in your chart or your lover’s chart, I want you to remember how important it is to look deeper into what sex truly means to you, allow yourself to enjoy it more fully, and if nothing else: ask for what you truly want going forward with this new knowledge. As I always say: take what resonates, and leave the rest!
Planets & Sex
Mars: the planet of aggression, passion, and power - themes that all relate directly to our physical body and our desires. As noted above, sex cannot be true if it is not both the physical and the emotional; the act and the imagination. Mars helps us to combine what’s happening with what’s happening. Example: if you have Mars in Gemini, you might want to be involved with someone who turns you on mentally, dirty talks, group sex, or want more than one partner on your roster. You may get bored easily & be turned on by novelty. Mars is the much more physical indication of what you like - your body, your favorite positions, the type of person that you want to f*ck or what turns you on at an animalistic & uncontrollable level.
Venus: the planet that deals with relationships, beauty, sex, and love. Venus is indicative of the type of female partners you might enjoy, or how you are when you are in your receiving mode, and this is much more indicative of the type of sex you would have with someone you are in a relationship with, or at the very least love and trust. This is the more emotional, love-making, and sensual indicator of the planets and helps you define what turns you on from an intentional approach (ex: a Venus in Scorpio may have trouble opening up sexually to someone that they don’t trust and know deeply, but once they are there, it’s deep, passionate, and all-consuming)
Black Moon Lilith: Lilith illuminates the dark side of your sexuality. It’s the wild sexuality that you might find yourself afraid to express. Similarly to how Chiron talks about the wound that will eventually be the way you help and heal others, your Lilith is another placement that you must “overcome” (no pun intended) in order to really gain access to your sexual truth. It’s the thing you’re most afraid of sharing and might even feel ashamed of enjoying or getting turned on by. You can find that here or book a birth chart reading to know more about this placement in your chart. It’s important to note that Lilith can be rather destructive if her energy is not channeled properly (and positively)!
Pluto: often described as the planet of death, rebirth, and transformation, we have to go back to the roots of sex. In French, the word “orgasm” as “le petit mort” or “little death”. Think about that post-orgasm experience that is often likened to death. There’s no coincidence that Pluto also discusses taboos, the subconscious, or what is hidden underneath the surface for us. Look to your Pluto sign to understand the type of sexual power that we have that is waiting to be "awoken”.
The Houses & Sex
5th House: Sex as a sensual experience. Our fifth house discusses romance, sex, creativity, and our inner child. Instead of thinking "children” or “childlike”, I want you to think “youth, vigor, and instinctual”. Any planets that land in the fifth house, or the sign that rules over your fifth house will help you to understand what you like sexually, who you are and who you’re attracted to in the dating and romantic stages of your connections, and what you like before you think too hard about it! An example: a fifth house ruled by Leo might indicate that you like to feel special and placed up on a pedestal when you’re dating. You don’t have any issue with health competition, but ultimately you only sleep with people that remind you that you are #1. The fifth house is also derivative of pleasure, so solo sex or masturbation style will exist here, too.
7th House: Sex as partnership. The seventh house indicates long-term commitments, partnership, and contracts. This might not sound too sexy, but it does help you to understand the type of partner that you would be interested in keeping around longer than just a single night. In example: if your seventh house is ruled by Aquarius, you might find that you are turned off by traditional people and really enjoy folks that help you to think outside of the box or push your pre-existing boundaries. Someone who has different likes, kinks, and interests than you do would be someone that can keep your interest long-term… a.k.a. years of sexy time!
8th House: Sex as a merging of two beings. The eighth house deals with sex, intimacy, merging of two individuals, and rebirth. Similar to the themes of the planet Pluto, you will find a lot of deep, dark, taboo layers to yourself, your interests, and your kinks here. Because the eighth house is also naturally ruled by Scorpio, this house will deal with those same “le petit mort” post-coital highs that Pluto brought about. It’s a deep, mysterious, and largely inexplainable feeling in the eighth house as sex will be looked at as a conjoined experience rather than two individual experiences.
12th House: Sex as something all-consuming or addictive. The 12th house is naturally ruled by Pisces. This dreamy escapist energy can have people utilizing sex and sexual relations as a means to escape from their everyday reality. Typically if you see someone with multiple twelfth house placements (especially Venus, Mars, or Pluto) they tend to have a more addictive personality, or at a bare minimum will use tools (such as sex) for escapism. They are prone to hyper-fixation and sex is simply another place to place their energy and attention!
Your Sex Style Based on Your Sign
So now that you’ve read through which planets and houses to look to in your birth chart, you can now figure out your own individual sexual style, likes/dislikes, approach, and preferred partners by notating what sign rules your: Mars, Venus, Pluto, 5th House, 7th House, 8th House, and 12th House. In example: If you are an Aries rising, meaning Aries rules your 1st house, then your 5th house will most likely be ruled by Leo, and 7th house by Libra. What signs rule your 5th and 7th houses?
You will also need to look at which signs Mars, Venus, and Pluto are ruled by in your chart! Do you have all of this written down?
Now read on below for the signs that rule over your sexual planets and houses here:
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